We're still here

It has been far too long since our last update.  What happened?  Life.  As it is for most families the children are involved in a number of different activities and hobbies and that takes up a good amount of time, which is a good thing.

I don't know if I could have imagined this is where we would be three years later.  We have had our moments, some great, some bad and some just ones we want to forget.  We read almost everything we could about adoption and learned a great deal, but its like driving, you can know everything but until you get behind the wheel it's all still theory.  This is a participation contact sport here folks!  The only way to do and get through it is with your sleeve and pants legs rolled up, lol.

The joys really outweigh the bad parts when you take a moment to reflect upon the adventure.  Hearing my children read for the first time, see them making friends, watch with pride as they accept a blue ribbon for their fair project, etc.  Our kids have come so, so, so far from where they were and I can't imagine life without them.

We still are here for families considering adoption and do all we can to be real and honest with them about the adventure it will be.  I am so glad that we have made some fantastic friends along the way who have encouraged us and been there when we needed an ear of reason.

What we have learned

I don't have a good excuse for not posting anything in the last 8 months except life and all that goes with it.  Life continues, we continue to grow as a family, the kids keep growing despite me telling them not to!

What we have learned since coming home in 2014...

- I am still not a patient person and I ask everyday for more opportunities to be patient

- We had room in our hearts to love all of kids, God can stretch it to unimaginable limits!

- Noise is ok, it let's you know you're not alone.

- Peace, don't go to bed until it's been made.  Teach your children this and they will value forgiveness from both ends.

- They should have a shopper of the month at Wal-Mart, Sam's and Aldi's with free food for the winner.  I'm just saying!

- I forgot how much boys smell

- Pancakes on Sundays bring a smile to even the grumpiest of children.

- Teaching family traditions is never wasted time.

- Waiting time with my kids is my favorite time of the day!!

- I love my wife now more than I ever have!

- Mt. St. Laundry is the highest hill in Central Indiana.  I'm pretty sure that's a fact ;)

- The trampoline was a phenomenal investment, for our sanity and to ensure a smooth bedtime.

- We get weird looks when we march in anywhere, two by two.

- We are THAT family

- It's always a good time to dance!

So.....It's been awhile...

Sorry for the lack of updates, I don't really have a good excuse except that I've been distracted.  Anyway, we have had a very busy summer.  But first let me back up to the previous post about the challenges of adoption.

My previous post dealt with how hard it can be dealing with the effects our adopted children deal with such as lying, uncontrolled emotional outbursts, blatant disobedience, etc.  These behaviors can literally suck all of the energy out of every fiber in your body.  You have to find a way to deal with it that does not take such a physical and emotional toll on your family.  It takes patience!  When things do not change immediately, it can, and will get frustrating.  We have been working with TBRI/Connected Parenting to get a better understanding of where our children's behavior comes from, so we can treat the cause and not the reaction.  It takes time, but I can see results when we approach the issue differently then how we would have in the past.  You will never "fix" your child. That is an unrealistic (and quite honestly terrible) expectation.  We adopt a child, not an idea.

So on to the summer.  We traveled to Florida in mid-May and the kids had their first visit to Walt Disney World!  They saw their first "live" palm tree and were spoiled by their DISDad uncles.  We have been to WDW many times in the past, but this was the first time as a family of eight!!  The kids did great and loved all of the experiences, well most of them anyway.  We took a very leisurely approach to visiting the parks.  We were concerned about over stimulation, how they would handle larger crowds, and their reaction to masked characters.  We avoided fireworks to help the ones who do not like loud noises, and it allowed us to spend more time at the pool which they love.  All of the kids loved the characters.  We were cautious about contact, but they did well.  Overall the crowds weren't bad and we developed a plan before we left and discussed it everyday about how we would do things. This really helped the kids "see" how things worked in terms of working our plan.  I know it also helped build some trust that the expectations we discussed were met.

Their uncles really spoiled them and it will be a trip they remember for a very long time.  It was a great lesson in generosity, caring and giving to others.  Thank you guys!!

Our parish festival featured a Polish foods booth this year so we had a little taste of "home".  The pierogi's were from a traditional recipe and they complemented the kielbasa perfectly!

We have also had the awesome opportunity to welcome home two families who have adopted in Eastern Europe.  Our dear friends the Carlson's brought home their four kids from Poland.  What a treat it was to be on the other end of a welcome home celebration.  Just a couple of weeks ago, some more friends brought their precious little boy home from Bulgaria!  What a blessing it is to be near other families who have traveled this journey we call adoption.  We have had some great discussions with our kids regarding these families and I know it helps them feel like they are not so different.

We will begin homeschool again in the coming weeks.  The kids are looking forward to starting school and participation in our co-op events.

Until next time....

This is Hard!!

It has been quite awhile since our last blog entry.  From the title above you can probably guess this is not going to be a light hearted report.  Let me do a little disclaimer before we begin.  I am in no way saying my kids are bad, that the adoption was a mistake, that our lives are ruined or that everything has been a disaster.  What I am saying is that this has been hard.  The training we did before hand and books we read seem to have been cleared from our memory banks.  Please know that I love and respect our children too much to name them individually and have them feel betrayed.  What I will be writing about is the difficulty from our end as parents.  One of our goals has always been to be honest and forthcoming with our experiences so that anyone who comes after us on the adoption journey will be a little better prepared then we were.  We had so many wonderful families share with us that we feel it is only right that we share as well.

Let me begin.  This is hard.  The honeymoon is definitely over.  We are exhausted.  We have said all of those things over the last few months as everyone has become more comfortable in their new surroundings as a family of eight.  Kim and I read a good many books on subjects that would deal with behaviors that our children might have which formed from their early life and the trauma involved.  We did the mandatory (and some extra) Hague training through web videos that was required by our agency.  I will look you in the eyes and swear we must have forgotten it all.  We are a couple of blithering idiots!  Nothing we tried in our parenting utility belts has seemed to work.  It has been so frustrating.  The emotional outbursts when trying to correct a behavior probably has the neighbors thinking we are barbarians who are beating our kids (for the record, we are not).  How do you deal with a child who just can’t communicate other than uncontrolled screaming and crying?  On the end how do you deal with one who becomes a stone cold statue and can go hours without saying a single word.  

We always tell the children we love them and try to establish eye contact.  We hold their hands and re-assure them that we are a family forever, that mommy and daddy are not going anywhere.  All of this has not appeared to help matters, at least from an outward perspective.  Please understand we are not here to complain.  I wish someone had been this honest with us about some of these issues before we started.  We could have prepared even more and been better equipped as parents.
One of the first troubling behaviors that popped up was disobedience.  Blatant disobedience.  The kind where the child is looking at you in the eyes, with a smile on their face, as you tell them no and they continue to do what they are not supposed to.  Not a big deal right?  I mean we have twins who did this stuff at one, two and three.  It is a big deal when it happens every day, multiple times of the day, and by someone old enough to know better.  Or do they?  It is as if we have no house rules at times.  I personally feel I discipline on the same subject (ex. no throwing balls in the house) all the time.

Another thing we have been dealing with is lying.  Flat out lying to our faces, sometimes even after we saw with our own eyes what happened.  Both of us have a real problem with lying and have always told the kids (all of them) that if you tell us the truth there will be a little trouble, but if you lie, then there will be huge trouble.  This happens almost everyday and a for awhile it was happening on multiple fronts.  An example, one child will lie to get another in trouble, and then that child throws another child (innocent I might add) just so everyone gets in trouble.  It is a huge web that we must go through and it is truly one of the most tiring things we deal with.  I know lying is from their survival mode, so we are faced with trying to build a bond of trust.  When one of them has come forward with the truth and they receive little punishment, like just a talk, I can sometimes see that they believe they can trust us.

This isn't all that we deal with.  There are good days too, but dealing with behaviors like those above really start to wear on you physically and emotionally.  We reached out to our super awesome adoption agency, Children’s House International, and asked them if they had any suggestions on what we might do.  

Our Case Manager put is in contact with the social worker on staff immediately and we scheduled a call.  It was such a relief to hear her say we were not alone in our feelings.  She told us it is not uncommon for her to hear that we had forgotten everything we learned in our pre-adoption training.  We basically had fallen back on the way we had parented our twins, it was easy.  It was also wrong for our new family and we would need to learn new ways to parent.  Remember when above I said the children should know better?  They don’t.  Their early life experiences have wired them differently.  The social worker gave us some recommendations on books and sent a DVD that deals with some of these issues and how to handle them.  She also sent a link to therapists in our area who specialize in dealing with adoptive children who have suffered from one form of trauma of or another.  

Over time we can change that so they will be better equipped to handle their actions and emotions.  With refocusing our parenting on the individual and not the behavior we have seen some improvements.  With further counseling and training I think we will start to better understand our children and how to teach them in these moments.  Our goal for our children is for them to become responsible and contributing members of our community.  

There is help out there.  Do not feel as if you are alone on a deserted island.  Please do not be afraid to pick up a phone and ask for help. I specifically did not go into further details of behaviors or counseling to protect our kids.  The behaviors that I listed are really things we deal with on too regular of a basis, but we love them SO much.  We would not trade this adventure for anything in the world.  It is hard.  it is difficult at times.  It is exhausting.  It is frustrating.  If all we focused on was the negative we would fail to see how awesome it is to be a family of eight.  It is fun.  There are a lot of laughs.  There is a great deal of LOVE! 

Happy New Year

From our family to yours, we wish you all of the best in 2015!!

Being Thankful and Looking Ahead..

We hope everyone enjoyed their Thanksgiving holiday.  Our newest kiddos found the holiday to be quite a treat.  We started the day off watching the Macy's parade, which was a first for them.  It was so neat to see the expressions on their faces as they gazed upon these larger than life floats, performers and marching bands.  We also had discussed earlier in the week that we need to think about what we are thankful for, because at dinner we would each have a turn to express our thankfulness.  Everyone helped in the preparation of our meal, and it proved to be a good source of memories and laughs.  We have some excellent little chefs in the family!!

I think their eyes were much bigger than their stomachs (which is usually the case, lol).  We had quite a spread and enjoyed a wide variety of choices.  Best of all, the line wasn't too long and we ate on time!  Easy to do when the destination is where you already are!!  I really appreciated hearing each of the children express what they were thankful for.  Sometimes a child's view on the world is pretty simple, but in a very profound and awesome way.  We were touched to here them be thankful for us as we are SO thankful to have them home!

We are approaching Christmas, and Kim and I reflected how different it was this time last year.  We were always wondering how the children were doing, how they were feeling, etc.  We had sent over photo books for each of them and knew they would get them sometime around Christmas, but it wasn't the same as being with them in person.  We have always enjoyed our time together as a family on the holiday, but last year it was difficult to get into the "Christmas Spirit".  Sometimes, waiting is not only hard, but it causes you to start to lose a little bit of hope.  Fear not!  I can assure you things get better.

The kids are very excited for Christmas this year and so are Kim and I.  As we were putting up the tree and decorations, I stepped backed and basked in the noise and glow of house full of six beautiful,  funny and joyful blessings!  Our Christmas wish came true this year, we are all together, under one roof, as a family.  I pray it is a blessing we will remember and cherish more than just once a year.

From our family to yours, we wish you a Blessed and Merry Christmas!

Until next time...

Things that make you go hmmm......

The other day I ran across a post on Facebook that linked to an article that described adoption fundraising as tacky and basically wrong.  I have been stewing on that article for a couple of days now and how I would like to respond.  But before I do that let's look at the articles accusation that fundraising for adopting is wrong.

The article draws its conclusion that "if you can't afford, don't do it".  Really?  Let's have a broader look at that mindset.  I do agree that being fiscally responsible is important, but sometimes the need is too great.  As a child my school had us sell candy bars to support the band, should my school, or any other schools who has done music fundraisers eliminate their music programs since they can't afford it?  Should schools quit having "boosters" raise funds for athletic programs since they obviously can't afford it?  Why do Girl Scouts sell cookies?  Why do Boy Scouts sell trash bags and popcorn?  Why does the FOP do an annual campaign to raise money for retired officers?  WOW, we are going to have to quit a lot of things.....because we can't afford it.  I almost forgot, the greatest generation bought and sold war bonds in a fundraising effort so that our soldiers fighting in WWII would have the bullets needed to defeat the Nazi's.  How wrong and tacky was that fundraising effort?  I guess by the writers perspective we shouldn't have fought the war since we couldn't afford it.  David, are you saying war and adoption are the same?  No.  I'm looking at the broader picture and not being narrow minded on how causes are funded, and some causes are worth rising up for, rallying people together to get the job done!

Adoption fundraising in some form or another is needed for most families who go through the process.  The statistics show that wealthy families do not adopt on a large scale compared to middle and lower class families.  They need theses fundraisers to cover essential costs.  They are "not" buying a child.  We all know governments cost money to run, they need money to provide essential services in welfare, immigration, the court system, etc.

Let me go back to some of the examples from above, is adoption just as important?  I would argue yes.  Think of a child growing up with no prospects, he or she is more likely to fall into situations that lead to bad life decisions.  Most of them will not have opportunities for higher education, they may have zero family to go to so in turn they must live on the streets.  I have read the stats that show those individuals who age out of foster or orphanage care put an even larger strain on the system because of the large number who fall into lives of crime and end serving time in prisons.  So what is that worth?  Having someone ask for a donation that could alter not only one persons life, but what about their children?  Studies show that the cycle is hard to break for children who are born to parents with criminal records and pasts.

So, if we treated adoption like school programs, war efforts and so on, then we could greatly diminish the epidemic which is being an orphan.  Most of these people are not doing this for fun, it is a call to be involved in something greater than yourself.  Regardless of your religious beliefs, these children ARE human beings!  They do not deserve the situations they are in, it is not their fault.  The next time you see someone fundraising or complaining that someone is, I want you to think of what your life would have been like without a family.  I have, and it makes me quite sad.  I am not wanting to pull on the heart strings and make anyone feel guilty.  My point in all of this is that we, as a whole, give so readily to causes like those I listed above very generously, but writers like the one in the article I mentioned treat adoption fundraising as taboo.  IT IS NOT.

Is it tacky to help a child find a forever family?  Is it tacky to take a child out of the crib they have been in for 3 years with little to no human contact?  Is it tacky to take a child from the dump they are forced to live in?  Is it tacky to take a child from a place where they are ostracized because of their skin complexion or class status?  Or, is it more tacky to buy cookies, candles, candy bars and bumper stickers and act like everything in our own little worlds is ok?

A Series of Firsts...

Hi it's David.  Happy November!  It actually snowed here last night during trick or treat hours!  Sadly, that wasn't a first for us.

We have been out a little more doing normal fall activities and we have been learning a lot about the children.  For example, we took them to an apple orchard and learned they thought it was an all you can eat fruit buffet!  They really did enjoy the hunt for the best apples so that Mommy could make her famous apple pie, because we all know there is nothing more American than that :)

We carved our first pumpkin together earlier this week.  Their favorite part was scooping out the pumpkin brains.  They had their first roasted pumpkin seeds as we roasted them in the oven.  And last night was their first "American" Halloween.  We have so much candy that Willy Wonka called and asked if he could borrow some.  The kids really enjoyed the experience and certainly gained confidence in saying trick or treat as their buckets were filling up.

These are just some of the firsts that we have experienced, some have been big, some have been small, some have been frustrating and some have given us things to ponder for later.  I have to remind myself from time to time that a good deal of what we do is new to these kids, so they may not know what to expect, how to act, how to respond or what to do.  We took a trip to a state park and I could see the anxiety on some of their faces after we had been driving for awhile and not arrived at our destination.  We have to remember to take a step back from time to time and let them absorb what is going on.  They have been doing so well adapting that we just take for granted that they will be OK.  This is still a life altering experience they have to process on a daily basis.

I personally struggle with sitting back and taking things slow.  I keep praying for patience and I do not see the opportunities that God is putting in front of me to be patient....

Until next time....

Be mindful....you must

Ahh..the wisdom of Master Yoda.  He was always one to blurt out some great, deep rooted, and insightful words of common sense.  Sometimes, in adoption, we tend to forget that common sense.  We say things without thinking, we do things without thinking, we put ourselves in situations without thinking, you get the point, right?  I think the biggest cause is being distracted.  You know, we are wise, experienced, well read on all things adoption (insert sarcasm meter here) so, we shouldn't make these mistakes.  The point is we can all find things to occupy our time and minds, but is it the right stuff?

I have done all of the above and them some.  It is very easy to forget what we learn in pre-adoption education regarding our children's past, forget that certain words can trigger strong emotional response, or forget that eventually normal is the cure for the honeymoon period after coming home.  It so easy to fall into a routine and not be mindful of what is going on around you.  Maybe we say the wrong thing, or react badly when someone disobeys, or even worse we are just too busy to pay attention when they need us.

Have you overreacted when a child lies?  I have.  The lying is hard to deal with, but I will never know what it is like to try and make someone like me so I can stay.  That does not excuse the behavior, just something to think about.

Has someone ask why they were available for adoption and then you answered?  In front of said child/children?  We shouldn't make them re-live past experiences in public.

Raise your hand if you have had to just check your email or Facebook will quick while your child is asking for your attention (did anyone raise their hands??).  I'll wait.....

Seriously we all do these little things that were habits BEFORE we brought our children home, but it is time to break the habit.  I am as guilty, if not more than most.  I know that I need to be more mindful and starting today I will be more aware of what is going on around me.  Let's consider some things to mindful of:

Be mindful....that your child is craving attention that he or she has never had until now.

Be mindful....that they will miss parts of their former life, friends, siblings, food, their birth country/place.

Be mindful...that your child's past is THEIR past, don't tell everyone about it.  It could affect how they trust you.

Be mindful....that EVERY child is a masterpiece.

Be mindful....that every minute spent holding your child will NOT fix them, but will start a new normal for how their life will be.

Be mindful....that there will be very difficult times.  I'm sorry but it is the truth.

Be mindful....that there will be lots of very super awesome spectacular fun times.   I promise it is the truth.

Be mindful....that there is no such thing as wasted time when it is time spent with your kids

I realize most of us already know these things.  We also know to brush our teeth twice a day but we don't all do it ;)  Be mindful today and May the Force Be With You (man I love Star Wars!!!)

Until next time....

David

A look back....

I thought we would post some pictures from our time in Poland, enjoy!

Update and stuff....

I wanted to share a recent picture we took at one of our local parks.  The kids are doing well and everyday we seem to discover a little something new, sometimes good and other times bad.  It's all a part of the adventure.

A few posts back I shared a frustrating situation where someone thought we needed to stop having kids because we already had too many.  I shared it because I hope as families move through their own processes they can learn from ours and other families experiences so they can be prepared and handle it better than I did.

What I would like to share today is a comment we heard at least five or six times at the beginning of our adventure.  I am not going to hold back on this, I think its one of the dumbest things anyone can say.  It shows how people just speak without thinking at times.  The phrase I am referencing is:  "I could never love anything that was not my own".  Here is what I want to ask, "Are you married to your brother or sister?"  Because unless you are, than you do love "someone" that is not of your own flesh and blood.  Let that phrase sit with you for a moment.  How did you learn to love your significant other?  You spent time talking with them, getting to know them, thinking of them, laughing with them, crying with them, etc.  Well guess what Mr. or Mrs. Insensitive???? that is exactly how you learn to love a child who is adopted.  It is not an instant bond for all (I do believe it is for some, but not all), there are struggles and frustrations that exist within the same relationship you have with biological children.  I can honestly say that i laugh and get frustrated equally with all my children :)

I realize adoption is not for everyone, but to set up these barriers is to be intolerant of the need to care for these children.  If you do not want to adopt just be honest.  Don't make excuses, especially ones that aren't true, because you never know who is listening (like an adopted child!!)  My other concern for this is raising another generation to be close minded about the gift of adoption.  I would never want anyone to be taught it is a lesser form of growing or establishing a family.  I have to go, I need the soap box to reach a high shelf ;)

Until next time.....

Adoption Networking

Early in our adoption process one of the best pieces of advice we received was to connect with other families who had been through the adoption process.  We reached out to these families for their wisdom and their experiences, advice, struggles and triumphs helped prepare us for our journey to Poland and then for the time after we arrived home.

Now that we are home, Kim and I feel that we owe it to those who come after us the same time and willingness to help as those families who were willing to be there for us.  Let's be honest, only other adoptive families will have a clue of what challenges you are going to face, the loneliness that sets in as you wait for updates or lulls in the process, the difficulties in raising funds, and the patience needed to see this process to completion.

Social networking like blogs, Facebook, message boards and Twitter can help families stay connected  and to help ease the feeling of being alone.  Our agency, for example, has Facebook groups for each of their country programs.  These groups are a great way of staying in touch with families who are on the same journey.  They also allow us to encourage, pray and celebrate with each other.  Networking like this allows us to make and develop relationships that will last a lifetime.  These are the people that will be there for you when you need that shoulder to cry on or when you are celebrating that one piece of paper getting apostilled that everyone else thinks is no big deal.

We encourage all families who are getting started to reach out to others who have walked this path of adoption.  It's also important that those of us who have been through it do not forget to pay it forward!

Until next time.....

Why and When???

We have been a family of eight for over three months now.  I make that statement because it has taken awhile for it to set in terms of how we describe our family.  We think of it as a gift, something that is perfectly natural and can't be that uncommon, right??  Both of my parents were from large families, we have several friends who have four or more children, my wife is one of seven, and I work with people who are from large families and have more than three kids.

Then why is it people are shocked and say inappropriate things when they learn we have six kids??  Is it because there is some type of negative stereotype of large families that is being portrayed in schools or the media?  I bring this up because of an incident that occurred recently.  One night I stopped into a McDonald's to pick up dinner.  I know its not the healthiest of choices, but we needed something and it was getting late.  I ordered six happy meals and when I got to the pick up window the young woman asked me if I had a lot of kids.  I told her yes and what she replied back not only made me upset, but confused me as to why people think they have the right to say whatever is on their mind without thinking of the person they are directing their comment to.  She said to me "You need to stop having babies!  That's too many".  I did not say the first thing that came to my mind (Thank you again Lord), although I do wonder how she would have reacted.  I replied "We do not think its too many, why does it bother you?"  She smiled and went to get the rest of the order.  I was sitting there wondering if she was going to say something else, and to be honest I was feeling myself getting angry and feeling the need to defend our family and others like ours who work hard, raise our children to be responsible and caring people and ask who she was to judge.  She gave me the rest of my order and said "I was just kidding".  I told her I didn't find it funny and pulled away and came home.

That incident happened a few weeks ago and it has still been on my mind.  I am not looking for any pats on the back because we have a large family.  We do not introduce ourselves as the Nicely 8! (although theme music when we walk into the store would be nice!!).  This occurrence really brings to mind other incidents, mostly on social media, where people think they can just express an opinion (when they are not asked directly) to someone without giving thought to other's feelings.  We are not looking for sympathy here, not one bit.  We knowingly and willingly increased the size of our family.

I wonder what my children would have thought had they been with me.  Would it have caused them to feel like freaks? ashamed to be in a large family? like people would be staring at them?  These are the effects when people make ignorant comments or ask inappropriate questions.  I'm an adult I can deal with it, but my kids are different.  No one has the right to make them feel like being in a large family is not natural or that they should be ashamed because of it.

I'll get off my soap box now.  I want this blog to focus on the real life adventures, joys, struggles, triumphs, and challenges that come with the adoption journey.

Until next time....

Update

Hello everyone!  It has been almost a month since our last update.  The kids are all doing pretty well. We have had all of our doctor and dentist appointments since coming home and they were all very brave and were well behaved for those visits.  The children are starting to get more comfortable here at home and are settling in with how our days go.  We try to keep unplanned events and surprises to a minimum to lessen the anxiety of being in a new place.  We have only been to one big gathering, but there were different activities so the children did not feel overwhelmed with it all.

Kate and Olivia are adjusting to the changes.  They have discovered that dad was telling the truth when I told them boys are different than girls.  I think they are starting to adjust the individual personalities of the children rather than just looking at them as a group of four.  Looking at them that way was kind of how we had to when they were still in Poland before we met.

We will start home school soon, Kim has signed up all the kids for various activities through our home school co-op and they are looking forward to the new adventures.  We did take a little trip up to the Lego store here in Indy and all the kids enjoyed it, but Simon turned to me and with the biggest grin and eyes full of excitement just said "Thank You!".  we spent a lot of time looking at all the different sets and dreaming of which ones we would like to build.

A family in our area is also in the process of adopting a sibling group of four from Poland!  We are so very excited for them and look forward to meeting their kids.  If you would like to follow their journey, here is a link to their blog:  http://bringingthemhome.net

Until next time!

Life as a family of eight...

Things are a little more crowded, there are more hugs, a little more noise, more smiles, there is more laundry, there is definitely more laughter!

These are some of the changes we have experienced in the weeks since we have been home.  It has been a transition, but everyday gets a little bit easier as we settle into a daily routine.  Bedtime goes pretty smoothly, the kids know what they have to do and like the sense of security a routine brings.  Most of the "hard" stuff revolves around normal kid stuff.  Someone took my toy, he is bugging me, she won't listen.  Just your regular family with three nine year olds, one eight, one seven and one four.

We loved our time in Poland, but to be honest it was hard at times.  Especially when I had to come back home and Kim and the kids stayed behind.  We encountered so many wonderful, generous and caring Polish angels.  We were truly blessed with a number of people that we know God had cross our paths.  Poland has a wealth of history and her people are proud of their heritage.  It shows in their cities, churches and parks.  We hope someday to travel back when the children are older so that they can maintain the connection to their birth country.

The children are getting used to their surroundings now.  All of them have been to our awesome local library here in Plainfield.  A few have been to the grocery store, two have had haircuts, and they all love playing in the backyard.  We have been able to get everyone to church with no issues and even though it was in English the structure of the Mass was something the older kids remember from the ones they went to in Poland.

Summer seems to be flying by with this wonderful weather.  We hope to post more updates soon!

Until next time...

We are H O M E !!!!!!

It has been an amazing and long six weeks.  What a wonderful feeling it was to step back on familiar soil.  We want to thank everybody who has helped us along the way, none of this would have been possible without your help and prayers!  We owe a special debt of gratitude to our dear friends Chris and Mandy for opening their home to us in Warsaw.  We will never forget their generosity and everyone would be blessed to have friends like them.

We would like to thank everyone who came to the airport.  Kim's parents came a few days early and helped with some projects around the house.  We feel really blessed to have friends like the Sieferman family, the Havenor family, the Wornica family and the Burgess family.  It was great for the kids to see that there are alot of people who care for and love them.  Thank you to the Murray family for the wonderful balloons waiting for us as we pulled into our driveway for the first time as a family of eight!!

We would also like to thank Kim's sister Sandy who was in Poland for the last couple of weeks to help Kim with the kids. 

We will post more about our time in Poland soon.  We just wanted to let everyone know that we are all home and starting to groove into our new normal.

Until next time....

"8"

8.......A nice even number.  On Thursday at 12:03pm Poland time we "officially" became a family of eight!  The last few weeks have been amazing.  The children are beautiful, smart, funny and long for the security and love that a family can provide. 

We will receive the finalized decree in early June, so until then we won't post any family pictures. 

Poland is a beautiful country with a great mix of old world Europe and pristine countryside.  The people are very nice and helpful.  We have made some great friendships and will cherish our time and experiences for the rest of our lives.

Sorry to keep this update short.  Until next time....

We're leaving on a jet plane......

We have our court and travel dates in hand (insert happy dance)!!  We will be leaving soon to finally meet our precious children.

Of course with these dates comes the flurry of things that need to be done.  It is a little overwhelming, but really quite exciting.  We have enjoyed watching others go before us and lived vicariously through them as they started the next chapters in their own adoption adventures. 

Since we will be in country for a fairly long period of time, we really need to figure out what is worth packing and what we can leave at home.  We do not want to have to pay for an extra bag, so if anyone has any proven packing lists or creative ideas, please share! 

We will be posting occasionally while we are in country, but that all depends on our internet accessibility.  If we have access to the world wide web, then we will post updates about our days, joys, and struggles.  We always appreciated hearing about the bad as much as the good.  We knew going into this that adoption is not all butterflies and rainbows.

Please continue to pray for us.  Pray especially for our four kiddos in Poland.  We pray that they will have open hearts and minds about this adoption.

Until next time....

Waiting Children

I wanted to take a moment and write about something very dear to our hearts...children waiting to be adopted.  I know you may say that is all orphans, and you would be correct, but I am referring to is a group that continues to grow on what seems like a daily basis.  The waiting children I am talking about have passed the infant stage and now face a life of growing up in an orphanage without knowing the love and care of a family.  Can you put yourself in that scenario?  Imagine never having those whom you love most in your life...ever.

There are varying degrees of special needs that some of these children deal with.  Some are severe and need special medical and long term care.  This does not make them any less worth of someones love.  Some special needs are easily dealt with in a country like ours where medical treatments, therapies, and surgeries to correct these are performed on a regular basis.  And one special need that really speaks to me is....age.  That's right imagine you are 6 or 7 and are considered old????  Two of the four children (sibling groups are considered special needs in some cases) we are adopting would be considered old on that scale.  It is extremely difficult for me to look back upon my childhood and think that at the age of nine I was looking at a life where I would be providing and struggling to defend myself for the rest of my years.  Older children do bring memories and hurt with them, but they also have a greater need for love to help deal (not fix) that hurt, and in many cases they are eager to help and bond with their new families.

We also see a number of siblings available from certain countries, and the obstacle to them being adopted is that they should be kept together and not separated.  This is something we strongly support, if a family can support more than one child.  Having someone to go through this process with is of great help to a child.  We have spoken to many families who have adopted siblings and they agree that they have a built in support structure and in some cases helps them with the transition into their new family. 

I would like to reach out to any of you who have ever thought about adopting and let you know that it does not have to take years to be matched with a child (or two).  So many kids throughout the world are waiting for folks like you and I too answer the call and say YES!  We had no idea how we would do this when we started discussing the process more than three years ago.  Technology is a wonderful thing and there are so many resources at your finger tips.  We have also encountered so many wonderful families who have adopted and who have been supportive and encouraging throughout this crazy process.  The point is you will not be alone.  Many, many people will have your back, be willing to pray and help when you need it most.

If you are interested in learning more about available waiting children please contact us or anyone you know adopting.  Our agency (who rocks!!) updates a list of available children on a regular basis and we would be happy to put you in touch with them.  If you can keep these kids in your thoughts and prayers, they need them more than you and I could ever imagine.

Who doesn't love owls????

Especially when they benefit adoption!  We are the featured family on Owls for Orphans.  This amazing mom started this site to help families in the adoption process raise money so they can become forever families!  25% of sales from now until April 5th will go toward our adoption.

Link to the Owls for Orphans website

They have touched so many families.  Easter is right around the corner and these handmade creations would make a very special and unique gift for your loved one(s).  They also have an Etsy boutique and you can follow them on Facebook:

Link to Etsy Boutique

Follow them on Facebook

Thank you Amy for your support of our adoption adventure!