Why and When???

We have been a family of eight for over three months now.  I make that statement because it has taken awhile for it to set in terms of how we describe our family.  We think of it as a gift, something that is perfectly natural and can't be that uncommon, right??  Both of my parents were from large families, we have several friends who have four or more children, my wife is one of seven, and I work with people who are from large families and have more than three kids.

Then why is it people are shocked and say inappropriate things when they learn we have six kids??  Is it because there is some type of negative stereotype of large families that is being portrayed in schools or the media?  I bring this up because of an incident that occurred recently.  One night I stopped into a McDonald's to pick up dinner.  I know its not the healthiest of choices, but we needed something and it was getting late.  I ordered six happy meals and when I got to the pick up window the young woman asked me if I had a lot of kids.  I told her yes and what she replied back not only made me upset, but confused me as to why people think they have the right to say whatever is on their mind without thinking of the person they are directing their comment to.  She said to me "You need to stop having babies!  That's too many".  I did not say the first thing that came to my mind (Thank you again Lord), although I do wonder how she would have reacted.  I replied "We do not think its too many, why does it bother you?"  She smiled and went to get the rest of the order.  I was sitting there wondering if she was going to say something else, and to be honest I was feeling myself getting angry and feeling the need to defend our family and others like ours who work hard, raise our children to be responsible and caring people and ask who she was to judge.  She gave me the rest of my order and said "I was just kidding".  I told her I didn't find it funny and pulled away and came home.

That incident happened a few weeks ago and it has still been on my mind.  I am not looking for any pats on the back because we have a large family.  We do not introduce ourselves as the Nicely 8! (although theme music when we walk into the store would be nice!!).  This occurrence really brings to mind other incidents, mostly on social media, where people think they can just express an opinion (when they are not asked directly) to someone without giving thought to other's feelings.  We are not looking for sympathy here, not one bit.  We knowingly and willingly increased the size of our family.

I wonder what my children would have thought had they been with me.  Would it have caused them to feel like freaks? ashamed to be in a large family? like people would be staring at them?  These are the effects when people make ignorant comments or ask inappropriate questions.  I'm an adult I can deal with it, but my kids are different.  No one has the right to make them feel like being in a large family is not natural or that they should be ashamed because of it.

I'll get off my soap box now.  I want this blog to focus on the real life adventures, joys, struggles, triumphs, and challenges that come with the adoption journey.

Until next time....

Update

Hello everyone!  It has been almost a month since our last update.  The kids are all doing pretty well. We have had all of our doctor and dentist appointments since coming home and they were all very brave and were well behaved for those visits.  The children are starting to get more comfortable here at home and are settling in with how our days go.  We try to keep unplanned events and surprises to a minimum to lessen the anxiety of being in a new place.  We have only been to one big gathering, but there were different activities so the children did not feel overwhelmed with it all.

Kate and Olivia are adjusting to the changes.  They have discovered that dad was telling the truth when I told them boys are different than girls.  I think they are starting to adjust the individual personalities of the children rather than just looking at them as a group of four.  Looking at them that way was kind of how we had to when they were still in Poland before we met.

We will start home school soon, Kim has signed up all the kids for various activities through our home school co-op and they are looking forward to the new adventures.  We did take a little trip up to the Lego store here in Indy and all the kids enjoyed it, but Simon turned to me and with the biggest grin and eyes full of excitement just said "Thank You!".  we spent a lot of time looking at all the different sets and dreaming of which ones we would like to build.

A family in our area is also in the process of adopting a sibling group of four from Poland!  We are so very excited for them and look forward to meeting their kids.  If you would like to follow their journey, here is a link to their blog:  http://bringingthemhome.net

Until next time!