Sunday, September 21, 2014
Update and stuff....
I wanted to share a recent picture we took at one of our local parks. The kids are doing well and everyday we seem to discover a little something new, sometimes good and other times bad. It's all a part of the adventure.
A few posts back I shared a frustrating situation where someone thought we needed to stop having kids because we already had too many. I shared it because I hope as families move through their own processes they can learn from ours and other families experiences so they can be prepared and handle it better than I did.
What I would like to share today is a comment we heard at least five or six times at the beginning of our adventure. I am not going to hold back on this, I think its one of the dumbest things anyone can say. It shows how people just speak without thinking at times. The phrase I am referencing is: "I could never love anything that was not my own". Here is what I want to ask, "Are you married to your brother or sister?" Because unless you are, than you do love "someone" that is not of your own flesh and blood. Let that phrase sit with you for a moment. How did you learn to love your significant other? You spent time talking with them, getting to know them, thinking of them, laughing with them, crying with them, etc. Well guess what Mr. or Mrs. Insensitive???? that is exactly how you learn to love a child who is adopted. It is not an instant bond for all (I do believe it is for some, but not all), there are struggles and frustrations that exist within the same relationship you have with biological children. I can honestly say that i laugh and get frustrated equally with all my children :)
I realize adoption is not for everyone, but to set up these barriers is to be intolerant of the need to care for these children. If you do not want to adopt just be honest. Don't make excuses, especially ones that aren't true, because you never know who is listening (like an adopted child!!) My other concern for this is raising another generation to be close minded about the gift of adoption. I would never want anyone to be taught it is a lesser form of growing or establishing a family. I have to go, I need the soap box to reach a high shelf ;)
Until next time.....