Why and When???

We have been a family of eight for over three months now.  I make that statement because it has taken awhile for it to set in terms of how we describe our family.  We think of it as a gift, something that is perfectly natural and can't be that uncommon, right??  Both of my parents were from large families, we have several friends who have four or more children, my wife is one of seven, and I work with people who are from large families and have more than three kids.

Then why is it people are shocked and say inappropriate things when they learn we have six kids??  Is it because there is some type of negative stereotype of large families that is being portrayed in schools or the media?  I bring this up because of an incident that occurred recently.  One night I stopped into a McDonald's to pick up dinner.  I know its not the healthiest of choices, but we needed something and it was getting late.  I ordered six happy meals and when I got to the pick up window the young woman asked me if I had a lot of kids.  I told her yes and what she replied back not only made me upset, but confused me as to why people think they have the right to say whatever is on their mind without thinking of the person they are directing their comment to.  She said to me "You need to stop having babies!  That's too many".  I did not say the first thing that came to my mind (Thank you again Lord), although I do wonder how she would have reacted.  I replied "We do not think its too many, why does it bother you?"  She smiled and went to get the rest of the order.  I was sitting there wondering if she was going to say something else, and to be honest I was feeling myself getting angry and feeling the need to defend our family and others like ours who work hard, raise our children to be responsible and caring people and ask who she was to judge.  She gave me the rest of my order and said "I was just kidding".  I told her I didn't find it funny and pulled away and came home.

That incident happened a few weeks ago and it has still been on my mind.  I am not looking for any pats on the back because we have a large family.  We do not introduce ourselves as the Nicely 8! (although theme music when we walk into the store would be nice!!).  This occurrence really brings to mind other incidents, mostly on social media, where people think they can just express an opinion (when they are not asked directly) to someone without giving thought to other's feelings.  We are not looking for sympathy here, not one bit.  We knowingly and willingly increased the size of our family.

I wonder what my children would have thought had they been with me.  Would it have caused them to feel like freaks? ashamed to be in a large family? like people would be staring at them?  These are the effects when people make ignorant comments or ask inappropriate questions.  I'm an adult I can deal with it, but my kids are different.  No one has the right to make them feel like being in a large family is not natural or that they should be ashamed because of it.

I'll get off my soap box now.  I want this blog to focus on the real life adventures, joys, struggles, triumphs, and challenges that come with the adoption journey.

Until next time....

Update

Hello everyone!  It has been almost a month since our last update.  The kids are all doing pretty well. We have had all of our doctor and dentist appointments since coming home and they were all very brave and were well behaved for those visits.  The children are starting to get more comfortable here at home and are settling in with how our days go.  We try to keep unplanned events and surprises to a minimum to lessen the anxiety of being in a new place.  We have only been to one big gathering, but there were different activities so the children did not feel overwhelmed with it all.

Kate and Olivia are adjusting to the changes.  They have discovered that dad was telling the truth when I told them boys are different than girls.  I think they are starting to adjust the individual personalities of the children rather than just looking at them as a group of four.  Looking at them that way was kind of how we had to when they were still in Poland before we met.

We will start home school soon, Kim has signed up all the kids for various activities through our home school co-op and they are looking forward to the new adventures.  We did take a little trip up to the Lego store here in Indy and all the kids enjoyed it, but Simon turned to me and with the biggest grin and eyes full of excitement just said "Thank You!".  we spent a lot of time looking at all the different sets and dreaming of which ones we would like to build.

A family in our area is also in the process of adopting a sibling group of four from Poland!  We are so very excited for them and look forward to meeting their kids.  If you would like to follow their journey, here is a link to their blog:  http://bringingthemhome.net

Until next time!

Life as a family of eight...

Things are a little more crowded, there are more hugs, a little more noise, more smiles, there is more laundry, there is definitely more laughter!

These are some of the changes we have experienced in the weeks since we have been home.  It has been a transition, but everyday gets a little bit easier as we settle into a daily routine.  Bedtime goes pretty smoothly, the kids know what they have to do and like the sense of security a routine brings.  Most of the "hard" stuff revolves around normal kid stuff.  Someone took my toy, he is bugging me, she won't listen.  Just your regular family with three nine year olds, one eight, one seven and one four.

We loved our time in Poland, but to be honest it was hard at times.  Especially when I had to come back home and Kim and the kids stayed behind.  We encountered so many wonderful, generous and caring Polish angels.  We were truly blessed with a number of people that we know God had cross our paths.  Poland has a wealth of history and her people are proud of their heritage.  It shows in their cities, churches and parks.  We hope someday to travel back when the children are older so that they can maintain the connection to their birth country.

The children are getting used to their surroundings now.  All of them have been to our awesome local library here in Plainfield.  A few have been to the grocery store, two have had haircuts, and they all love playing in the backyard.  We have been able to get everyone to church with no issues and even though it was in English the structure of the Mass was something the older kids remember from the ones they went to in Poland.

Summer seems to be flying by with this wonderful weather.  We hope to post more updates soon!

Until next time...

We are H O M E !!!!!!

It has been an amazing and long six weeks.  What a wonderful feeling it was to step back on familiar soil.  We want to thank everybody who has helped us along the way, none of this would have been possible without your help and prayers!  We owe a special debt of gratitude to our dear friends Chris and Mandy for opening their home to us in Warsaw.  We will never forget their generosity and everyone would be blessed to have friends like them.

We would like to thank everyone who came to the airport.  Kim's parents came a few days early and helped with some projects around the house.  We feel really blessed to have friends like the Sieferman family, the Havenor family, the Wornica family and the Burgess family.  It was great for the kids to see that there are alot of people who care for and love them.  Thank you to the Murray family for the wonderful balloons waiting for us as we pulled into our driveway for the first time as a family of eight!!

We would also like to thank Kim's sister Sandy who was in Poland for the last couple of weeks to help Kim with the kids. 

We will post more about our time in Poland soon.  We just wanted to let everyone know that we are all home and starting to groove into our new normal.

Until next time....

"8"

8.......A nice even number.  On Thursday at 12:03pm Poland time we "officially" became a family of eight!  The last few weeks have been amazing.  The children are beautiful, smart, funny and long for the security and love that a family can provide. 

We will receive the finalized decree in early June, so until then we won't post any family pictures. 

Poland is a beautiful country with a great mix of old world Europe and pristine countryside.  The people are very nice and helpful.  We have made some great friendships and will cherish our time and experiences for the rest of our lives.

Sorry to keep this update short.  Until next time....

We're leaving on a jet plane......

We have our court and travel dates in hand (insert happy dance)!!  We will be leaving soon to finally meet our precious children.

Of course with these dates comes the flurry of things that need to be done.  It is a little overwhelming, but really quite exciting.  We have enjoyed watching others go before us and lived vicariously through them as they started the next chapters in their own adoption adventures. 

Since we will be in country for a fairly long period of time, we really need to figure out what is worth packing and what we can leave at home.  We do not want to have to pay for an extra bag, so if anyone has any proven packing lists or creative ideas, please share! 

We will be posting occasionally while we are in country, but that all depends on our internet accessibility.  If we have access to the world wide web, then we will post updates about our days, joys, and struggles.  We always appreciated hearing about the bad as much as the good.  We knew going into this that adoption is not all butterflies and rainbows.

Please continue to pray for us.  Pray especially for our four kiddos in Poland.  We pray that they will have open hearts and minds about this adoption.

Until next time....

Waiting Children

I wanted to take a moment and write about something very dear to our hearts...children waiting to be adopted.  I know you may say that is all orphans, and you would be correct, but I am referring to is a group that continues to grow on what seems like a daily basis.  The waiting children I am talking about have passed the infant stage and now face a life of growing up in an orphanage without knowing the love and care of a family.  Can you put yourself in that scenario?  Imagine never having those whom you love most in your life...ever.

There are varying degrees of special needs that some of these children deal with.  Some are severe and need special medical and long term care.  This does not make them any less worth of someones love.  Some special needs are easily dealt with in a country like ours where medical treatments, therapies, and surgeries to correct these are performed on a regular basis.  And one special need that really speaks to me is....age.  That's right imagine you are 6 or 7 and are considered old????  Two of the four children (sibling groups are considered special needs in some cases) we are adopting would be considered old on that scale.  It is extremely difficult for me to look back upon my childhood and think that at the age of nine I was looking at a life where I would be providing and struggling to defend myself for the rest of my years.  Older children do bring memories and hurt with them, but they also have a greater need for love to help deal (not fix) that hurt, and in many cases they are eager to help and bond with their new families.

We also see a number of siblings available from certain countries, and the obstacle to them being adopted is that they should be kept together and not separated.  This is something we strongly support, if a family can support more than one child.  Having someone to go through this process with is of great help to a child.  We have spoken to many families who have adopted siblings and they agree that they have a built in support structure and in some cases helps them with the transition into their new family. 

I would like to reach out to any of you who have ever thought about adopting and let you know that it does not have to take years to be matched with a child (or two).  So many kids throughout the world are waiting for folks like you and I too answer the call and say YES!  We had no idea how we would do this when we started discussing the process more than three years ago.  Technology is a wonderful thing and there are so many resources at your finger tips.  We have also encountered so many wonderful families who have adopted and who have been supportive and encouraging throughout this crazy process.  The point is you will not be alone.  Many, many people will have your back, be willing to pray and help when you need it most.

If you are interested in learning more about available waiting children please contact us or anyone you know adopting.  Our agency (who rocks!!) updates a list of available children on a regular basis and we would be happy to put you in touch with them.  If you can keep these kids in your thoughts and prayers, they need them more than you and I could ever imagine.